Month: February 2017

Acknowledging A Shift

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I am down, a total of 115 pounds. Some of it on my own, but most of it is from my weight loss surgery. I am totally looking different. I decided a long time ago that I would not be the frumpy, rumpy, dumpy ‘fat to skinny’ girl. I said early on, I was going to do it with class, style, sass, and as much sex appeal I could muster. I am holding that end of my bargain. hahaha

However, I’ve have noticed a change in how I am received. I said, in an early post, before my surgery, that my physical change would cause people to treat me differently. I remembered typing that I would be upset if that happened. Well, it has happened, and I lied. I have loved every bit of the extra attention, the lingering stares, especially from the opposite sex. My curly natural locks have gotten shiner, so has my teeth, and forehead. Lord! LOLOLOLOL I am embracing everything. It feels normal. I’ve always been outgoing, fun, with a big personality. I feel like the old me, just smaller.

NEGATIVES

I’ve encountered some negatives, but few and far in between. When I do, I get rid of it immediately, because it isn’t my norm, or something that I am willing to become accustom to. My negatives have come from my overwhelming change, attitude, and presence. It has rubbed individuals wrong. However, I can’t accept that that negativity is mine or my fault. It may have caused some self-conscious feelings, about oneself appearance, or their inability to lose their own weight on their own. I’ve been mocked minimally about taking the easy way out. However, I have owned this process from the beginning. I took me about 4 months of meeting and speaking with my surgeon to really sign off on it. This wasn’t an easy decision, and it hasn’t been an easy process. I think attitude, and the willingness to go alone with all that comes with it makes a monstrous difference. I accept all that comes with it, dumping and all. The dumping will get better, as you learn your dos and don’ts.

ADVICE

LIVE! Don’t abuse your body, and be careful not to replace one addictive behavior with another. I haven’t made any major purchases. I have shopped some, but that stopped mostly, after Christmas. I am only 6 months out. If it is to start, I haven’t a clue as to when it would. My debt is at a all time minimum. I don’t club or drink. Right now, I’ve not picked up any bad behaviors. I am terribly aware of what the statistics says. My most excessive behavior would be working, at this time. I love working; I love what that means for me and my daughter. However, when I could, I’ve always worked a lot. This minimize time for boys. I am not willing to give up one for the other. So, I am not sure if that’s a replacement. I do obsess a little about money. But not to spend, but ways to increase and SAVE! I am so scared about being broke and losing everything, again. I think about it more than normal, lately. I don’t know if it’s because of this stupid political environment, or because of my fear of being wasteful. I don’t know. At this time, if I was to be honest, with myself, I don’t have any excessive, crazy behaviors that have replaced my food. I hope to never get any, but the writings and statistics says that some bariatric patients experience it. If one should come, I hope I can identify it and fix it FAST!

SKIN

Whelp! Lord have mercy!

My arms are definitely my problem children. They are just there dangling. My upper thigh fatty area is also terrible. You can’t tell in my clothes, and I don’t have to put on stuff to make it look better. You can just see the lose skin, outside of my clothes, and I have almost 100 more pounds to go. So, I know it’s going to get worse. I love my boobies, but if I sit up a certain way, or look at the wrong time, I can see the wrinkle in them now as well, from loose skin. I still have a lot of belly and back fat. My stomach is just starting to droop. I use this lotion that has collagen in it. I put it everywhere. My triple chin is no longer, but if you catch my head turned just the right angle, you can see lose skin, where my chins once were. I really need to start pounding those weights. I am not sure what to do about my chin area. It doesn’t look bad. You’ll have to really look to catch it. LOL

However, I will not change a thing! If this is my beginning, my lord what will another 6 months be like! I CAN’T WAIT TO FIND OUT! Maybe the money I am scared to spend will help me fix some of these problems, in a couple of years! You never know!

Peace, Love, and LIFE!

It’s my 40th Birthday

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WoW!! WoaH! Lord Have Mercy!

I am turning 40, in just a few short hours, and I am just thrilled to pieces!! Had I known that today would be the way it is today, I would have stopped worrying and complaining a long time ago, because things were just going to get better. Now, I was already on this happy train, before I had weight loss surgery, but it sure does add to this huge permanent grin, I am possessing right now! I am no longer pre-diabetic; I no longer have hypertension; my knees no longer snap, crackle, and pop. I can walked up my stairs, without my knees feeling like they are about pop out of its joint. I am a praying woman, I don’t know about the people that will read this, but I am so glad that I finally listen and heeded God’s advice. I am healthier, happier, and more content than I’ve ever been in my life. Most importantly, I can be the type of mother my daughter deserves! If momma isn’t happy, nobody’s happy. When momma’s happy, the WORLD is happier!

I am about to put some music on, after making sure my baby is in the bed, and about to dance this night away!!

I wish the entire world peace, love, and compassion tonight! I wish the world just an ounce of what I am feeling, at this very moment! I love me and I love you!

Duodenal Switch = New Life

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Hi,

It’s been awhile since my last post. I finally had to break down and buy a new computer for my kid, which will enable me to blog and post more. I actually got a desk top (all in one). So no more tiny phone punching and constant changes, due to all of the typos. I have much to share.

GAS

I love my new weight loss tool. My life has just grown leaps and bounds. I’ve not had any serious or hard consequences or problems, due to my weight loss surgery. I had my gall bladder taken out, while in surgery. I have been pushing my limits as of late though. I have been testing sodas, which is a serious no-no. (1) The sugar content is terrible; (2) the dark sodas burns really bad; (3) the diet sodas aren’t that good anymore. But don’t forget the dark sodas burn (diet or regular). They are just team too much. I picked up a Sprite Zero a few weeks ago, and not only does it taste like a sprite; it doesn’t burn like the dark sodas; and it has no sugar in it. However, it gives me horrible bubble and very LOUD gut noises that leads to serious gas passing. Thank God I work at home and alone! hahaha However, 6 months out, I usually have one every other week. One 20 ounces bottle can last me about 3 days. I can’t drink it straight, and the longer I have it, the fizz is drastically reduced, which helps with the bubbling gut.

SUGAR, VITAMINS & PROTEINS

I like to suck on peppermints. Those things are full of sugar though. I still like starbursts. So, I buy the minis and it’ll take me a week to eat them, but I will. Too many of them will make me dump. I haven’t struggled, like I thought I would with getting my protein in, mostly because I will still do a protein shake, once a day. I need 80 to 120 grams of protein. I am at the lower end of hitting my target.

My vitamins are easier, each passing month. They are like second nature. I struggled a lot with them in the beginning, because it was too much, too soon. They were nasty; too big; and made my tummy hurt. I’ve learned which one I need to eat or drink some protein milk (Fairlife) with, which helps settle my stomach. I can now take the chewable calcium better, which I need 1800 MG per day. I have strawberry and orange flavors that taste just like starbursts! If you are new to this, they’ll not taste like that in the beginning, FYI.

WEIGHT LOSS NUMBERS & HAIR LOSS

My current weight, as of yesterday was 298.2 LBS. I haven’t weighed that since high school. I am getting skinny. Including my skin, which isn’t that bad at all, thus far, I would only like to lose about 70 more pounds. I stand at 5’10 inches. I am curvy, now, and I’d like to keep my curves. I look really great. It’s not just my conceitedness (hahahaha), but from the responses from everyone else, especially the opposite sex. My highest weight was up to 415 pounds. So, I’ve technically lost 117 pounds from my highest weight. You can tell also. I feel so amazing.

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In regards to hair loss, I’ve not had any. It came out in some big chucks, maybe 2 times. However, I am a natural headed woman. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I started taking Biotin, after my 3 month check up. I am finishing up my 6th month now, and there’s less shedding. I have gotten to a minimum hair loss. It’s actually longer than it has been in years. It’s growing like it’s on steroids.

I CAN DO ANYTING

I took my baby to Great Wolf Lodge, indoor water park 2 weeks ago. The first time we went was last summer. I couldn’t even go up one flight of stairs. This time, not only did I go up the one flight of stairs, I slid down every last one of the slides, including the big one where I had to climb 4 flights of stairs. My only injury was my heart (too old for this shit aka I was scared), and I skinned both elbows pushing myself down those tunnels.

My daughter has a mommy that can do anything with her. We travel and go places together all the time. I am WHOLE again.

CHALLENGES

Exercising is still an Achilles heel for me. I don’t have the time. I do stretches and weights, while working, but other than that, I still do not do any hard core running, walking, or pounding something. I work 6 days a week, by choice. I work pretty long hours. When I am not working, I am 150% full on mommy mode. My last doctor visit showed that I have gained quite a bit of muscle mass. I am not losing muscle. I take the stairs every chance I get. I am always on the go, so maybe that’s helping? I don’t know. My doctor wants me to become an athlete. That’s not going to happen. I have to go back to him and say, ‘yeah, I lost the weight (still is); I’ve not lose any hair or muscles (I’ve gained), but I do not want to be an athletic. I want to be debt free; and in my spare time, I want to hang with my kid. She’s at an age now, where we can hang out. She has developed an opinion. hahahaha

In short, my life (I have a real one) has been tremendous! Life is good; really, really, really good. I am happier than ever been in my life. The things that use to seem hard, difficult, or too challenging are like swatting a fly. It’s easy peasy! I am my worst critic and enemy. I am my only road or stumbling block. I just need to get out of my own way and flourish, living the life that God has intended for me!