Everything’s great, including the GAS!

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You know, I must admit, I love my tool. I am especially excited about my decision to move forward with gastric surgery/duodenal switch. My life has taken on an entirely new spin that I had never expected. I am happy that I am happy. I am happy that I can cross my legs. I am happy, because I am so damn pretty. I thought, I was cute before, hell no. I’ve gone to just outright gorgeous, but most importantly from the inside OUT!

This process isn’t for everyone. Take the time you need for it. I have horrible bubble gut noises, if I consume the wrong foods, or too much of something that’s bad for me. I have loud, ear piercing farts. Like the kind that would scare a sleeping child or dog. It’s horrible.

I walk through the house, tooting from my back end like a stepped on windbag, making my own musical notes. And don’t let it be the smelly ones, LLLOOORRRRDDDDD HAVE MERCY!! The most horrendous smells will come from your body and make you think something has gone sour or rotten, during bathroom times. I promise, you will say many times, “I bet that’s what a dead body smells like!”

My worse skin action belongs to my arms. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. They are bat wings. However, I am still cute!

My stomach fat is shrinking slowly (which I am grateful for) and hasn’t shown yet what it will look like, when it’s said and done. I am curious to see. My boobs, Tom and Jerry, have some old lady wrinkles on them, yet is keeping the most important fullness. So, I don’t know, they may not turn completely into two raisins! Lord, I hope not. If they do, I already know that I am going to order me a pair of ’20 year olds’!!

I have gone from a size 32 to a size 18, or a 20 for a comfort, classic fit. My first weight loss goal is size 16. Once I hit that magical number and can actually fit in my Weight Loss Dress (yes, I have one that I purchased, right after my surgery), I am going to have a photo shoot done! I can’t wait! I am almost there! That’s my ultimate goal and gift to myself. When I bought the dress, I thought I had lost my mind, because I was certain this $80 bucks had been wasted, because there was no way I was going to actually fit in this lil’ bitty ass dress, right? Well, when I first bought it, I couldn’t do anything, but put it on my neck. LOLOLOLOLOLOL Now, I can put the entire dress on, but the seam started howling and hollering, in the back. Tom and Jerry had turned to instant pancakes. They were just squished. However, the dress was ON!! Seats honey! Seats! I can’t wait to put it on, on. I am going to call the fire department to cool all of this hotness off, child!

I just got back from the beach, and oh wee, I was fine as hell! I didn’t even trying to hid my bat wings. If someone was thinking something negative, I didn’t give two shits, because I saw stars and hearts, and visual daggers turn into Sugar Free popsicles, when they hit me. I was in heaven. I was posing, and using props, like I was just chill. But actually, I was catching the light! LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Life is really great! I can laugh at myself, because it’s funny. Remember the gas I had mentioned earlier? Well, I tried to have me a grown up drink, one of those freeze and thaws from Walmart for $2 bucks. That thang had 42 grams of sugar in it!!! The smells that filled our room that night, almost made my vacation mate, put me out! Too much sugar will make you smell worse than a dead, gassed up skunk. I just remember waking up to her spraying my Bath n Body Work saying, Lord EVETTE!! lololololololololol My 6 year old grumbles all the time, but it has kept her out of my bed at night! So whatever works, works! You must learn to take the few wins, with the loses!

Now to the good stuff, I am dating, and I am loving it! I will have more on this, down the road. An old love has come back into my life and before he saw this new me. It’s because I am awesome and great! Uh huh! LOLOLOL Now, I am what?? GORGEOUS! Someone told me I was chic the other day. You could have just knocked me over with a feather. Me, chic? Since when? Since when? And she said, since then…..

Collage 2017-04-19 21_58_06

Just for a reminder, let me show you what I looked like before I took on this very GASSY journey…

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I loved this girl, but I don’t even see me in her any longer. She looks like a stranger. I can’t believe that was me, just a little while ago. Oh and yeah, I was still just as silly, boisterous, and happy. I’ve just gotten (dare I say) SEXY, BABBEEEE!

Life is good, but God is great,

Vette

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