Month: June 2017
Even Shonda Rhimes, the creator of Scandal understands what I was referencing in my most recent blog.
I’ve had so much to talk about and share that I had to split the posts tonight. I don’t want to diminish one over the other. This article will speak to the mental boundaries that we, as bariatric patients, see things through rose-colored lens. We don’t see what you all are seeing. So, when you yell out… “HEY SKINNY! My you’ve gotten small! Gosh, don’t lose any more weight! Girl, when are you going to stop losing weight!? Eat girl!” We don’t see that. I am almost a year out, and I don’t see the weight loss. I have tried every which way God has given me to see it, and I don’t see it. Apparently, this is fairly normal. Who knew? I read about it, but I thought it was one of those things you put in the land of absurdity. Whelp, the shits true. I don’t see skinny. So, when you are doing all that yelling at us bariatric patients, hell we are turning around to congratulate someone too. We don’t know you are talking to us. LMAO!!!!!!!
With that being said, I see the changes, physically. I can see that my skin has lighten up. I can see the loose skin. I can see that my clothes are shrinking in size. I can do a side by side photo and see the change. When I look in the mirror, I see a new and improve me. However, I don’t see the drastic weight loss you see. The shock you are experiencing aren’t here with us, mentally yet. I’ve seen a couple of people, and they just started damn crying. I got scared. I was like, “honey, you ok? You alright? What’s wrong withcha?” They had to explain to me that it was my weight loss. I was like, “oh it’s okay!” However, that’s when I realized, I must look a shocking, gorgeous mess! They were crying, with utter shock. In between the snot, they were able to murmur how absolute pretty I am, and quickly to say, “well you were always beautiful.” LOLOLOL (We get it) How proud they are of me. So, it was no shade or tea, but absolute joy and happiness for me.
So, understand everyone, we are still catching up. You are probably a year or two ahead of us. It’s just simply our new normal. It’s like going into the hospital to give birth to a baby, and coming home with it, and just like, “now what the fuck am I suppose to do?” The reality, shock, amazement of this new body (baby) just has not caught up with our head. We are aware that this is happening, but we are still processing and learning. Nope, we are not crazy, mental, or slow. It’s just hard to explain, but it’s true. We know that we’ve lost the weight. Some people can tell you the date and time of every new experience, but not when they finally saw the past and current new person.
So, I’d like to say, stop that damn yelling. Please don’t cry. Just enjoy the ride (new baby) with us. Let’s go shopping! Let us raid your closet! Let’s just love, support each other, and have some fun. Invite me out for a night of dancing (make sure I have a babysitter first). LOLOL Most importantly, understand that everyone isn’t as carefree as I am either. Some people may have become (more) depressed or really upset about the yelling, even when you are meaning well. It’s because they are still processing, uncomfortable with what’s happening, and adjusting. It depends on where they were mentally and emotionally, prior to surgery as well.
The attention we have begun to get may have become overwhelming. It’s not just you (the loved one and bestfraaaaannnnnddd), but the haters, jealous, envious witches, ex-abusive boyfriends/husbands, mean and inconsiderate family and friends, and/or mean-spirited co-workers. Then to make things even weirder, you are now ‘datable’, and the new and upcoming buffet, with an all you can eat sign (hehehehe). LMAO! Lord have mercy! You think you are shocked, try wearing all of those hats. So, we are aware that things are happening, but to some degree it’s still shocking, because guess what? WE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE, we were before the surgery. So, understand, we are looking at you like, “bitch, you didn’t see me before??” LOLOLOLOL For some, they’ve gone from being invisible, to suddenly being seen by EVERYONE! Walk easy, for my baratric sisters and brothers.
Now for me, you don’t have to do all of that. I am all in, and loving EVERYTHANG! Let’s go shopping!
Peace, love, and loose skin!
Much has happened since my last post. I’ve gotten my hunger sensation back, as of 3 weeks ago. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought something really, really bad was happening. I was like what in the hell is going on here! I went to bed one night and woke up, with what the dead folks in The Walking Dead must have felt like… starvation! Lordt!
Three weeks in, I now find myself snacking a lot more. My snacks haven’t been the best. I still can’t eat much; however, I am not dumping, and I can actually consume more, including the devil (SUGAR). August 31st is my one year anniversary. I feel wonderful. I have had no problems whatsoever.
My skin is jiggler (if that’s a word). However, I am super damn sexy. I love how absolutely amazing I feel. I have topped off, for a few weeks now at 273 to 277. I will get to 273, then gain 4. Lose 4, gain 4 right back. I am certain my stall has lasted longer, because I do not exercise like my doctor would want, and I am consuming more. I am okay with it, because I know the weights going to continue to fall. I would like to stop losing at 240, but my doctor has already told me that I will land at 180 to 190, which is just too small for me. However, it is what it is. I am not, have not, obsessed over my numbers. I am still losing inches, although, my numbers aren’t changing. I do not measure myself either. I just don’t want to obsess over those types of things. I’ve even gone back to Great Wolf Lodge! I conquered everything with my kid! She was so happy!
How I know I’ve lost inches? I’ve been wearing size 20 pants, since April. I put on a size 14/16 dress (that I purchased) two days ago. My size 20 pants are too big. I just bought a size 18 dress that’s tight on my top and too big at the bottom. By the time my numbers change on my scale, I’ll be in a 16/18, comfortably, more than likely. I am getting skinny, at my 5 feet 10 inch frame. Remember, my old numbers: highest weight 415; weight before liquids 385; weight after liquids 370.
One thing that I am uber AWARE OF, which isn’t exercising, but my vitamins and my intact of protein. I’ve increased my protein drinks daily. I am now doing 2 drinks, on most days of the week. I don’t count like I should; however, 2 protein drinks will automatically give me 40 to 50 grams protein per day. I need 70 to 90, more if I am exercising. I cook a home cook meal 3 to 4 days out of the week. No eating out a lot.
Premier Protein now has this really amazing Tropical Punch drinks that are only sold at Sam’s, at a reasonable price that I’ve found. They are soooooo good, and it’s equal to the milky protein drinks, both whey based isolate protein. They are retailing at $19 for 12-18 ounce drinks. I get 3 to 4 cases at a time. Amazeballs!!
Any my greatest accomplishment to date is my ability to ride the go carts! One of the pictures are below; it was with my team outing at work. However, I’ve since gone back and took my kid. It was amazing!!
Now, I am living and is no longer co-existing in the world! My only regret is not doing it sooner. Life is good. Love is good!